Sunday, January 17, 2010

This Life

im tired of explaining every piece of
wear and tear
on this rapidly aging body
that i treat
like my worst enemy.
holes in my brain
bruises on my thighs
bloodshot eyes
a handful of jagged straws for hair
ash smoke under my pink chipped nails
dull ache in the head
lips chapped scabbed
my nervous habits are so visible.

im tired of doing damage control
empty "im sorrys"
when i piece together
segments of a night
acted out by someone else in my body
thats not me, thats not me, thats NOT me.
big mouth, beer belly, bad memory
thats not me,
and that never happened
and im sorry

why am i so special?
everyone makes mistakes
but mine are unforgivable
mine can
hearts, ties, glass, friends
they keep me alone
never leave my head
mistakes that weigh on shoulders
until i cant walk any further
im left behind alone

correction: independent right?

im tired of pulling myself out
of a dark reverie
day after day
and its safe to say
this has nothing to do with the weather
listen and repeat out loud:
i wont waste my time being sad or angry
i will be something someday
i will be better
i will prove them wrong
i am bulletproof
i am beautiful
i am worth it

and i deserve every second of this life

1 comment: